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The Seven Years of Depression: How I Fought and Now I’ve Got to Cope


For seven years I’ve been battling with depression. Yes, for seven gruesome years. It wasn’t a good fight. For I fought against myself. It’s never an exaggeration when I say the experience was much like fighting my own greatest enemy. After seven years, here I am finally able to admit to myself that I used to have depression. This is because I used to deny it to everyone -- that I had depression. I feel like I had to deny it and conceal its existence in myself to everyone. Because I see depression as a stigma, a social stigma. I used to believe that those who have it will never get a good chance at living life. While I was battling with depression, I felt like I was living in hell. Happiness was a stranger to me. I stopped seeing my friends; I lost enthusiasm for work and took my family for granted. I refused all types of treatment. Because I never wanted to admit that I had depression.

So, I continued to battle with depression symptoms. I had panic attacks that regularly visit me usually at night. I have this ruminating anxiety in my head that never seemed to stop no matter what I do and where I am. I could hardly eat well. (This is the reason why I lost so much weight). I refused all kinds of invitations from my family and friends. In other words, I became a solitary man. I lived my life all alone in my room. Fortunately, my parents never gave up on me. After seven years, here I am undergoing therapies and treatments for my depression. It feels good that I am finally able to talk about it now. It is only now that I realized that talking about it to other people or in writing could be such a huge relief. It’s like a huge nail had been removed from my chest. Today, I am no longer ashamed of admitting that I have depression. However, today is a lot different from what I used to be during those previous seven years.  I now finally managed to smile and even laugh. I am currently starting to go out with my friends. I am once again enjoying the company of my siblings and parents at a dinner table. But, being treated for depression feels like a full-time job for me. I had to talk to a few therapists, see some physicians and manage my schedule for social gatherings. I had to see my dietitian as well because I need to regain my normal weight.

Gone are those days when seeing other people feels like a plague that I should avoid. Gone are those days when staying in my room felt so much better than talking to other people. Today, I’m still undergoing treatment for depression. But, as early as now I really can say that I’m almost over it. I need to be over it. Life has to go on. It shouldn't stop just because depression symptoms are hindering me from living a good life. I am more powerful than the symptoms of depression. I can stave it off. I can get rid of it. I can keep it at bay. I can leave it dead in its tracks.


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