Eurgh, I don't know if I can do this. I just can't stop crying right now, I'm trying so hard to explain myself but I can't answer the questions why I feel like this. I can't complete my points, I feel so afraid.

It frightens me, to think that people would know what I think of myself. What they would think of me for it.

I am so lazy, I cannot motivate myself to do anything. I need to revise, I know I do. But I just can't bring myself to do it. Everything just seems to be getting ontop of me at the moment, and I don't think I can cope. I wasn't made to be strong, I am far too weak. I pretend that I'm strong, and that I'm cruel and like stone, when in reality I feel like I'm about to break down and colapse. I wish I could change, but I can't. I have tried so often. I have tried to become more confident, although I believe that my confidence has grown in the last couple of months. I wear things that I would never have gone out in before, however that is about as far as it goes. But it's a small step.

I have tried to become invisible, but there is always someone who seeks me and pulls me out of my cornered silence. I don't understand what I want. Iwant to be left alone, but theres still that one bit of me which is wanting to be liked and wanted by others.

I wish I could make up my mind. It would make life simpler.