Albert Einstein defined insanity as "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."  I obtained this quote from the internet, which does not have a great history of checking its sources, or more accurately those that post the information, and those that cite them, such as me, do not check the source.  But, I have heard this quote before and believe it to be accurate.

Over the years I have often heard people convey their frustration about their child's or their own circumstances concerning such things as depression, anxiety, ADHD...etc. and how the current course of remedy that they are prescribed, which almost always involves medication, is not working.  If this is the first time that someone talks about this with me, and I am fairly comfortable with them, I will share with them that I was once like them, and then proceed to tell them of the wonderful experience I have had with neurrofeedback and exercise.  I will recommend, or at times even lend, books on the topics.  But, more and more often I am finding that I am keeping quiet.  I feel that no one wants to listen.  They just want to keep banging their head against the wall and then wonder why their head hurts.  If you have been going to a therapist for many years and have made little progress, it may be time to look for a new therapist.  If you have tried many antidepressants and none of them seem to be working, maybe you should try something else.

Most often the hardest part about getting better is convincing yourself that what you are doing is not working, and pushing yourself to do something different.  I truly believe that exercise and nuerofeedback saved me from depression.  Having a loving wife and family were also key factors. However, if I was simply going to a traditional therapist, and had not begun an exercise program, no amount of love from my family would have gotten me out of my funk.  For me, the hardest part was getting back on my bike.

My bike, the one that I owned before my current bike, had been neglected for a long time. At one time it was a beautiful new CADD3 Cannodale that I bought in Saratoga, NY.  For years it had been moved from one apartment to another, and only ridden occasionally.  For a couple of years, not riding the bike was not entirely my fault.  I was dealing with a lot of lower back pain.  A two hour ride had the potential to put me in agony for days.  But, even after the back pain had subsided with the of  muscle relaxant pills (two years of pain fixed with simple pills--you have to love our medical experts) my bike still sat in the garage.  The once beautiful bike was looking rough.

I talked a lot about riding and how I missed it. I drooled when I saw others enjoying a sport that I had fallen in love with while living in Albany, NY.  I loved the thrill of the wind slapping me in the face as I flew down a hill, l loved the feeling of accomplishment that I felt climbing the hill that allowed for this to occur, and I loved the feeling that engulfed me after a long ride.  I missed it a lot, but was doing nothing about it.

I was depressed.  This is another reason that I was not riding.  I knew that getting on the bike and making my muscles sore would be good for me, but I just could no motivate myself. Then my wife got me motivated with a simple act.

One day my wife came home with a new pairs of shorts and a shirt for me to wear while I ride my bike.  the "outfit" was not suitable for cycling.  The shorts were the style worn for basketball, and the shirt was made out of cotton.  Although I could not wear these clothes on a bike ride of any significance distance (not for the type of riding that I do) it motivated me.  It was the spark that would finally get me off my butt. Soon after I was bringing my much neglected bike to the shop for a much needed tune up, and I was online trying searching for a new pair of cycling shorts and shirt.  Soon I would be riding around Lowell, MA and southern NH.

Things would get a lot worse before they began to improve.  I would eventually be admitted to a hospital.  But, I would also continue to ride my bike.  When I began riding again I did not see it as something that would actually cure my depression.  I did no that several individuals had told me that exercise was good for depression.  However, the more I rode, the better I felt, and eventually riding my bike would not only become a habit, it would become a part of my life that I felt I could not live without.  I now consider it my antidepressant.

If you are depressed and cannot seem to get better, I encourage you to try something different.  Cycling and neurofeedback worked for me, but it may not work for you.  Do some research.  Find out what might work, and then try it.  If it works, great!  If it doesn't work try something else.  Being depressed is terrible--a feeling of  hopelessness that no one that has ever experienced it can truly understand.   You should be working your ass off to find something to help you get better.

Enjoy life,

Peter