Rainyday

It's the first week of the month of May. Rain pours today. It's not that I feel gloomy when it rains I actually feel the opposite. It's like the rain gives me comfort whenever I feel lost. I always feel lost. I don't know where I can really fit in. People always say its a normal feeling when you are in your 20's since you're still searching for yourself. But why this feeling never goes away on me??? I'm in my 30's now and yet the feeling is still fresh like the first time I've felt this. I can't even remember when it started. I don't know if it's a sign of depression but it kills me, bothers me everytime I go to bed at night. I don't have a closest friend that I can share this feeling with, not even a closest family member that I can talk to. I feel like I'm always alone, that's what I always feel, ALONE.