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I was safe from my own self destructing thoughts.

Last night my friend from the Marines was in town..ive hadn't seen him in 3 years. we never had previous romance or anything... i dont know if what we "have" is even romantic. He said how nice it was to have me in his arms. We didn't kiss, didn't reach hands down eachothers pants or anything. It was purely innocent and it couldn't have felt better to be held, and know for once that I was safe from my own self desctructing thoughts. For those of you who read this, i dont know if anyone will; I know that reading this could potentially make someone feel even lonelier than they already are. This just shows we have little glimpses of LOVE and LIGHT ahead. Even if you hate yourself, someone will hold you and protect you, even if its just for a night, an hour, a few minutes of someone looking at you and you getting the butterflies from it. That is what life is about. i dont know why im so optomistic this morning...

maybe its because i realized im not ugly like i thought i was for the longest time...i dont know how long this "pretty" feeling will last but im going to enjoy every second of it.

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