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always sad

I now realize that i will always be alone. I am sitting here now and reafize i have no one that i can call when i feel like this. I am overwhelmed with such sadness right now. People who i thought were my friends are really not. Makes sad all the time. Then theres this guy who i thought cared about me, doesnt. We were seeing each other off and on for past 13 years and i now also realize i never meant anything to him. Makes my heart ache. I was just the fallback girl for him an in between thing. i shouldve realized it the first and second time. But i always thought in the back of my mind that he would did care abour me but he never ever did i was just a joke to him. I always did evreything i could to help hom when he needed me but when i needed him he just ignored me. I am such a fool to think that i had friends or that this man who i thought cared about just thinks im nothing. I am starting to believe it. I cry all the time cuz in my heart i know i have no one. I am hurting so bad right dont know how to handle this overwhelming sadness i feel all the time.

always sad

Yep. I will always be alone with no one who cares. I ask mysekf everyday why am i still alive. I really dont have anything to stay living. I think about my future and theres just loneliness. I hide my feelings everyday. TBut it is getting harder and harder when all i think is why?  I am so overwhelmed with sadness. Dont know what to do.

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