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30
May

I just want to know.

I just dont understand. Im normally not one of those girls to gets all wrapped up in love, and obsessed over a guy. I can easily move on and accept what it is. but why him? why now? why is he the one I cant get out of my head? and unfortunately, hes making it worse. He hasn't talked to me all day, he distancing himself and claims he's not ready to commit. Not that I am pressuring him or anything, but I just want to know why? at this point I dont even care if Im the problem. I just want to know so I can move on. Its like he is just holding on to me and "using" me to some extent. I dont deserve this. I deserve much more. All I have known from men (in relationships of my own) is abuse. He was the first one to demenstrate what its like to be with a real man, and with someone who appreciates me for me. I opened my heart up to him, told him my worst fears, my terrible past, and so on. I meet his family, and he meet mine. All of a sudden its like he disapeared into thin air, and I could matter less to him. Why does he not care? is it me? did i do something wrong? I thought he was the one... but apparently not for him. like i said, i dont even care what the problem is, I just want to know so I can get over him and move on with my life. like why the FUCK hasnt he even texted me today? or called? what did I do to derserve this? My depression is definitaly taking over the best of me and i hate it. I struggle every day to keep my head up and my eyes open, but its hard when there is no promise to hold on to.. at least not anymore.

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