well i guess i should start off by introducing myself, my name is Cody Smith, I am a 20 year old male. I have been dealing with depression for about two years now. By looking at me you wouldn't ever guess i am dealing with it. And i haven't told anyone outside of my doctors, and family, because I sometimes don't even believe it. when someone says the word jock in terms of high school that was me. I played sports every season of the year and earned a total of 9 varsity letters, including 4 in wrestling. wrestling... my life. i have wrestled for 15 years. i was a 2 year captain and was honored as top 5 in my state twice. i earned a full scholarship to wrestle in college. That is where everything began I went away to college over 1000 miles away, girlfriend dumped me, easy access to beer and such, and quickly spiraled out of control gaining 20 pounds in a month being 50 pounds over my weight class and being kicked out of school. I know the exact moment when i decided to say fuck it. and keep doing what i was doing, not a moment goes by that i don't wish i could take the one decision back and for all i know you could be watching me on your TV. but instead i suffer from insomnia, and depression and in a 2 full years of college have completed a total of zero classes.