I loved him( Wade) with all my heart, but he is manipulative, hostile, verbally abusive, emotionally abusive, compulsive, depressed, and only Lord knows what else. For one very long year and 6 months, I hung in there with him, through so many of his dramatic dysfunctinal craziness. Now it is over and I am trying to move on. I dont have much to look forward to, as I am 45 years old a single mom of a six year old and three grown adults. I work fulltime in the military which is becoming increasingly more demanding, and stressfull. I dont know how much more of this lonliness, heartache, and working like a horse I can take. I desperate for resoultion and relief! Wade provide an out for me and some hope, but to go along with his deal would be nailing my own coffin. I was willing to sacrifice my own sanity to just get out of this military. However he crossed the line yesterday and now it is done. All my hopes and dreams are gone just like that.

I dont know why this bothers me so much, since it is clear he is by far the worst relationship I ever had, and I dont deserve to be treated the way he treats me. I am a much stonger woman than to let a man like him treat me with so much disrespect. So why do I hurt? I should be happy to be rid of him! Besides life is too short to waste time on someone that is no good for me. I wish there was something someone could do for me, but it is all in God's hands. I just have to sit and wait for the ride to stop.