I'm young. I realize that. I know that other people have it harder than me and if I could, I would not feel this way. I don't enjoy being in pain. I don't enjoy crying everyday. I don't enjoy being unable to smile honestly. To laugh like I used to. I'm so sad and tired of the way I feel. I hate being like this. If I could, I'd end it all. And I can. I can pull that trigger or jump off that chair but, I know that's not going to help and I know that my problems won't be solved and I know I can affect so many people negatively but ending my life.

I know that people look at my generation and wonder what went wrong? But instead of criticizing please, just listen. Listen to one word and you'll hear the cries for help. I'm yelling and shouting but no one hears and maybe, that's why I'm doing this. Maybe that's why I need just one thing to help me. I've been sent to shrinks and my mom just doesn't understand this. She doesn't know what I'm going through. I've never cried so much in my life as I have these past few months. I think I cry at least once a day. Maybe more.

Just, don't judge, please. I know you're probably calling my weak or stupid but, I'm trapped in this dark spot in my life and hell, I'm trying to leave. I'm trying.