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30th oct 2010

Well I Just Starting a Blog Now ,today was a bit messed up ive been having such a few hard days im just outta hospital again ive ive started cutting worse dan ever im at my worst ive ever been.I Feel like i cant go on ne more and with this i wouldnt be here ne more im just sitting her drinking how sad am i. Im 15 weeks pregnant and i dont wanna be ne more its so hard with Mia (my daughter) gone ill feel like im replacing her i dunno what to do nemore i miss her so much im just so angry ive never had a temper b4 i lost my lil girl she was my world i miss her lil smiles and her hugs when she new i was upset i miss seen her laugh and her being so happy just made me 4get about my past and always managed to put a smile on my face i miss it now im never smilign just tryn to firgire out how to go on in life anymore .I havent seen my therapist in a week cos im on midterm and i see her threw skool. Im On my final year dare b4 college and i just cant concentrate and study to get what i want and sit dare and think is dare ne point nemre i dont wanna go on with my girl. Shes So Cutie She was a gorg child..I loved her to bits da nlii thing good in my life and her father took her life away from me.I member dat day like it was yesterday so messed up she was just playing in da garden and i went in da phone was ringing and her father used always say he ill get me back for hurtn him and i will suffer so he took mia and crashed da car and killed dem both. I Just Dunno Why Cudnt he have killed me taken my life expect my lil gitl she was 2 u now how could u do dat.I had another fight with my mum 2day its constant lately.I walked outta da hospital without discharging i cudnt stay nemre i didnt want da help like i sopose im scared and confused bout what i want anymore . I must go now its so late here and i ruining outta things to say my day was a boring but dramatic one i sopose .

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