Questions

Hi, this is my first post on here. I am basically writing this because I do not want my family and friends to worry about me and what is going on. So, here is what's going on;

1. I am having anxiety problems. If I am around too many people (about 30 or so) I start to panic. My chest feels strange and it feels hard to breathe. I don't want to be like this, can anyone suggest something for me to do to help with the problem?

2.  Depressed. It is pretty obvious I feel this way considering what site I'm on. The thing is I don't know what triggered my depression. I always feel like I am not good enough and I have to be perfect. If I feel like I'm not going to do something well I become nervous and refuse to do it. This has limited me socially. I also have given some thought to suicide at times, but then I realize I shouldn't. I feel like what has bothered me in my past is nothing, that I should be able to move on, but I keep looking back. Can anyone help or give some suggestion as to what I should do to stop feeling like this?

3.  I have a hard time opening up to people. I feel like everything I do is wrong. I can't cry in front of people and I fake having a "bubbly" personality. I store up these emotions and stress until I have a breakdown and start freaking out and crying (by myself of course).How can I express myself without outright doing those things and not hurting other people?

Anyways, I know I have put some rather odd/difficult questions up but I hope someone will be able to talk to me soon.