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This feeling in my life is new and unwanted.

I have always been an optimistic girl and a positive face in any crowd. I still am to everybody else, my friends, my family - but inside something has changed.

I can't recall when the stress got too much for me to handle, or when I started to self-harm and have suicidal thoughts - it happened gradually.

The stress is making me tired and I have no one to turn to about it - my parents are never here, my friends won't understand and I've never been in a relationship.

I don't know how to tell my parents that their expectations for me are slowly killing me - I need to be myself and not this perfect child they expect me to be. When I be myself I am an embarrassment to them, so I have become an actress toward the world. I just want the show to end.

My self esteem is at an all time low and I don't know what to do or who to tell - so I take it out by hurting myself again.

Then I return to school and smile amongst my friends - still wondering where I fit in with the world.

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