This being my first blog and very clear on what I wanted to write about but having a major concern how seriously I can take myself and others me.

Today I watched the film " to save a life" and although the film itself wasn't to great I couldn't help but continue watching it because of what it was saying. It's a story of a high school student who shoots up his school and then turns the pistol on himself essentially ending his life. Unlike most people my sympathy firstly lies on the shooter and then the victims, and I continuely no matter what the case ask myself what drove this kid and many others to do something as " horrific" as this ?  We blame this kid but nobody ever looks at what he or she is going through. Regardless the shooters childhood's best friend  who had neglected him during his high school life is deeply effected by the death of his " friend" and decides to change his life as being one of the " cool" kids to a regular school goer and passively tries to make an impact and aid the kids who are lesser seen or completely ignored by the school. At the risk of spoiling the film he befriends a loner and ends up saving his life  because he made him feel like somebody cares. This is the single reason I decided to open up a blog

I had always believed I was a good person always believing that I'm trying to help others but have done nothing about it. I don't want people to take this the wrong way and think that I'm am seeing myself as the almighty healer who can help who ever with what ever but I decided to try and hopefully I could just talk to people about anything who feel alone and maybe I can make a difference to one persons life at least.

What are our values in life making millions of dollars driving fancy cars and stepping on everyone and everything along the way to achieve this material goal. Money and luxury is not a bad thing in fact I encourage it but what is gonna make you happy and complete. I believe it is assisting and helping our fellow humans, rich, poor black or white I believe this is what makes me essential elated and it is something I have not lived by.

I myself am not perfect and have my faults and my issue that I try to suppress and put on a brave faces infront of my peers and people but I ask myself how much longer will I live a lie before the cracks start to excentuate my life. In this sense this is where I look at myself and see every kid that has gone to the school with the intention to kill and take their on lives because the cracks are now gaping holes in the their satisfaction of life and can no longer deal with lie shame and constant punishment they are delt with by life. How much is enough you have to ask yourself. 10 years 5 years a lifetime of constant harassment from your peers before you can take no mo. That's is a question myself I can not answer but can understand that when that times comes it will be far from pleasant

Not many people will read this but for the few who do just take a moment to think of people you may have treated badly for whatever reason it my be and how you are contributing to that braking point so don't be surprised if the consequences are fatal. Instead why don't you take the effort to make the smallest of gestures to someone less  fortunate or well off as you because you don't know how that will impact them and insteead of being surprised by those positive consequences you may achieve, embrace it in knowing that you contributed in maybe " saiving a human" life the most undervalued but precious thing. That is what I hope to achieve.

If yourself do feel that life is pointless I cannot empathize but I do sympathize. nobody is ever truly alone there are people or a person who deeply care about you. Take the time to talk to someone because people, even complete strangers do care. I am no professional therapist by any means but I am a kid who would just like to make a small difference by listening and in doing that help myself  and fellow person.

I close off with a quote from an unlikely source " call of duty MW3" it may not be exact but it said something like this." People forget that  the world is often shaped and changed by the will of one man."

Thank you