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Here.

War is here. It falls from the ambiance and permeates my faculties. It is here, abounding on all sides of in and out. I can see it red like rust enveloping the superficial and corroding insides. I can see there is no escaping its presence as the way is infesting with its forms. I feel the concrete of the side walk I am walking along with my fingertips and smell resilience in the grit that breaks away. The sky I can see is like blood and waves of malevolence pass over my waning body. Do you think opposites exist here? No, only true and madness are the archetypes. The latter masks itself and deceives the masses. It is called as power full, but has no justification for its pseudo existence; the end of the melody melancholy is death and the end of death is truth prevailing at last. The greatest lie ever told, the most severe treachery! A sword will cut into the darkness as life is merely a breath passing away. War is here; ever is it with us. You and I are born into a system that is unbalanced and one that will topple broken soon impending. This war is neither of bullet nor explosion, atoms nor mass. The eye cannot see its manifestation unless it perceives the overworld. It is forever and evermore the same and is what is represented in the form of words themselves, building the foundations of the world, those great pillars in the earth. Your words can both kill and sustain. How ambivalently we blast their numbers into the atmosphere. The enemy is here. It waits for you, talks to you, and is with you. I can feel them hiding in the forests, and in the shadows; swimming at the bottom of the ocean. Leviathan is coming. Arm yourself, ride out to war and engage the enemy. Take heart for the lynchpin of those disfigured monsters is thin and easily plucked. They will fall and diminish at your roar. They will melt by your gleaming eyes searching them. Pour them out and distinguish your judgment against the dark madness. Execute your protocol with violence of action. Take them. Take those spirits who cower from your advancing cries. They never held power but the power humans have given. These things can I understand now or after, but the end is only the beginning.

FEAR

I ran. I ran towards the sun as fast as I could. My heart ached I was running so hard and so fast. In fact I was moving much faster than I should be capable of doing. I didn’t think about it or care. Each time my foot struck the soft earth underneath me the shock raced all the way to my head as I continued on, pressing. Sweat left my body in an exodus, and thirst scratched at the back of my ever drying throat. My breaths were so deep and quick I was afraid there would not be enough atmosphere to compensate. Still I ran. I ran towards the light as fast as I could. The trees and brush I was passing through exacted flesh as toll and I began to bleed all over from the cuts by branches and thorns. Nothing would stop or slow me down, I must keep going. Faster now. Once or twice I stumbled gaining myself a plethora of bruises and damage. It hurt so much to keep on like this but there was no stopping, I could never. Inside me there was no sustenance, I have not eaten in days at least. Hunger pierced my mind and worked against my endeavor attempting endlessly to halt my movement. I ignored famines case and continued. I ran. Ever I ran towards the warmth I could feel on my skin. My body was broken and ready to be laid to rest, not because of advanced age for youth I still possess; not because of infirmity did I advance because my sickness did not exist. My heart cries out for sanity as it pumps faster and faster, no way I can slow down now. Through valleys, over hills, across plains were the territories that still lay ahead and some behind. Can you smell it? The vegetation propagates into my nostrils, and I am alerted to their fleeting biology. Some small comfort I suppose. I press on. It bellowed long as it paused for announcement. The beast broke through the ancient trees like they were nothing. Paying no attention to natural obstacles the monster held earth in contempt as it drove into the direction of its victim. Four massive appendages clad with claws as sharp as razors were responsible for locomotion. It stopped again and I stopped also. It looked toward the morning star and I looked to the south at it. As lions roar and wolves howl, no animal can be found in the kingdom capable of producing the sound that came out of its jaws of long teeth. The bellow this time was low and carried far, but not before it reached my ears. Attempting to catch my wind for this moment’s sake, I looked intently at the beast to see if it would change course. It did not. Its scaly body full of death proceeded. I was in fact not running from but to this monster, this infestation of the living. If I can move fast enough I can flank and overcome it. I halted in hope of cadence again and looked. I could no longer see it and took that as a good sign. I moved ahead as its search retarded its progress I suspected. I will find David first or I will find the adversary first. David was not its victim’s name, as I never know or care what it is. It’s just a name I give to him or her respectfully. This time you are David I thought to myself. None of these things are of tangent either. How foolish. They all happen, and to an extent much worse and dark, be sure of that; but the place were events like these are in breath only. They however do manifest across into marrow and flesh. I finally came to an opening and found myself slowing down finally in the midst of a prairie. The grasses were as high as my waist and swayed with the wind back and forth. I paid no attention to them. I discovered him at last laying upon his back with his eyes closed. “David!” I called out. He opened his eyes and he gazed at me. What a monster I must resemble, I thought. I reached into my pouch I carried this whole journey at my hip and took out food and water. Time is a function only, I gave them to him to eat and drink. The seconds stood still. David never spoke a word and I didn’t expect him too either. I understand him; I understand her from a distance. Inside we are the same, all of us, but these few I know dearly without even the formality of introduction. None are needed and indeed not words either. We have never met but I am well acquainted with each one. I have, and give freely as much as I can. We rose to our feet and I pointed in a particular direction and said “Change your course, go this way, for a season”. David started walking. He didn’t even look back. It’s ok. I’m grateful enough to have brothers and sisters, and to have the opportunity not to miss a beat. In perfect harmony; there is one who would do it for me too. That’s enough to make me do anything. I digress. The air around me suddenly became cold. My breath presented itself as it left my mouth. The ambience grew amphibious: Fear and Hopelessness. Knowledge entered into my mind and my lips began to curl upward as a roaring laughter grew inside me, and I expelled it. I looked down at my hands. I do that when I want to remember how fleeting life is. My position was changed as I rotated away from the sun and faced the opposite direction. My enemy draws close to me now. All of the nightmares one can recall in a single instant cannot gratify the abomination that stands in front of me now. Its breath melts the air, fear emulates from the slime dripping from behind the scales that run into mange-like fur in ill placement. My mind began to wander. I misplaced the situation I was in currently and warmth began to radiate from my arms. “How are you called?” I asked It let out a shriek as I looked past it to more pressing precipices. I held up my hand effortlessly and said to be quiet. “How are you called?” “My name is called Grotesque” the monster replied. “In the distinction of the mystery presented to the world go back into the abyss. Do not return after you have gone past the dry places in the earth, no abode for you can be found.” I looked passed the monster again and it disappeared instantly, and I discovered a city to the south a distance away. As I studied closer I realized it was ablaze with fire. It burned and the sky above it was as red as blood. All at once I knew what it meant. I placed the bread and milk on the counter and paid the clerk who looked still as lost as when I found him. I wasn’t afraid to say something, there was never any fear. The static fluorescent lighting overhead bathed my arms as I took my things. I left that place and went home. Fear is complacent worthy. Sometimes when you help someone hurting, there is nothing gained save shining light on a terrible situation. I do not care; I will keep trying.

Befriending Bellicose

Amias sat silent amidst an empty room, in an unimportant house, upon an armchair in the corner. It seems as though color has gone out of every item neatly in its place on top of a shelf or drawer, leaving the room empty without the utility of their presence scattered about. One could perceive the aura of a black and white photograph, melding together the physical and the metaphysical atmosphere so thick it was undeniable. As much was happening inside of Amias’s mind as was outside in the tangible world. A fly loudly buzzed across the room to the window.
Behind Amias’s chair in the corner on the rug was a dark, foul smelling stain. He looked at it. For a minute or two he tried to figure out where it came from or how long it had been there, but to no avail. Suddenly he rose to his feet and the sound of his body traveling through the air broke the silence. After gazing at the fly bouncing endlessly against a glass pane in his livingroom, he walked over to the window. His gaze on the insignificant fly slowly dissolved as the outside world began to come into focus.
“How beautiful, how full of life and color it is out there.” Amias whispered. “Lets go out somewhere today, lets walk down the street, lets feel the sunlight and breeze.” He said louder. “Let’s get out of here!” He screamed.
Silence overtook the room once again. He just stood there quietly staring out the window. Across the street where he lived he looked into the window of another house, and to his surprise he saw another person looking through their window at him. As he looked closer, Amias noticed the stranger had a look of complete horror on his face while looking into Amias’s window. Just then, long boney fingers crested the horizon of Amias’s shoulder and rested embracing him and a voice spoke into his ear and said “Stay here with me Amias, you don’t have to go anywhere ever again. Your life is short, let it run out so that after I can have you all to myself.”
Amias felt a chill race down his back and all of his hair stood on end as he heard the voice of this familiar person. He didn’t turn back to look at the speaker, but only continued to look out into the street as the cars passed by and longed for something more. He looked down at the ground and saw two pairs of feet, his own and his companies. He looked at the floor not to discover what was there but to reset his mind. He noticed however that a thin black thread ran attached at the visitors heel all the way back to behind the chair in the corner. Amias bent over and picked up the thread. He remembered now.
“What are you doing Amias? I am not going anyw. . .”
Amias broke the thread and the person disappeared into thin air. He picked up the thread and followed it back to the corner. The stain was still there.

—————————–

Sometimes there is something wrong in our lives; and the wrong can be something manageable, but instead we magnify the problem and personify it. This person we give free range in our comings and goings and control over our minds. Its victims even embrace this enemy and refuse to live without him because it has gone on so long they have forgotten what normal feels like and wish not to abandon what little sense normal they have left. This enemy is conceived in your mind alone, and all of his powers over you, you yourself have given to him. He hangs on by a mere thread and is easily defeated when you remember where he came from. The stain is still there however, but now you can deal with a 1’x1’ stain on the floor of our lives and not the Minotaur and the labyrinth you created on top of it.

Three Fellows In A Boat

 


Tightly fitting planks bob incessantly as the the breaking waves continue growing more restless. On some unknown boat, on some unknown waters, on some unknown part of the planet; two eyes gaze up into the heavens as their colors wash away from them. This pair of eyes belong to the dying soul of a man submerged almost completely in the water off the side of the boat, save his very head which remained on top of the building waves. His one arm, like the rest of his body, lost into the abyss of the sea; and his other holding on for life to the quarter knee of the stern of the small vessel. The wind begins to pick up speed as the thick clouds overhead become increasingly dark, swelling with doom and ready to pay at any moment. As moments come and pass marked by the smallest interval, the transformation of this unfolding situation into something sinister becomes more and more apparent. Another arm, suddenly, reaches through the chaos and wraps around the arm of the man in peril in an attempt to save his life. The difference in weight and vantage point confine the dying one in place off the side of the boat and instead of falling down, he stayed afloat and his life was prolonged for the time being. This second man yelled aloud to the first "I won't let you go, I won't let you disappear!".

The first emulated abandon, that devil trying to pull him under shown through his eyes.

"Don't give up, stay in there!" Cried the rescuer.

Just then a deep rolling laughter washed over the two characters amidst their futile struggle and the second man turned his head to look at a third man.  Gasp. Horror. This third boat companion sat at the stern an looked intently at them. Red fluid poured from hidden wounds that must have been quite serious because of its volume. This third fellow was bleeding to death but instead of trying to preserve its own life it taunted the duo with crazed eyes looking right through them.

"Do you think we are in a boat in a storm?" It asked. I woke up.



This dream I had a long time ago happened when I was in a dark place in my life. I felt alone in the middle of an imminent storm with no one to listen and no one to help. The world really is quite small and its important for people to know that there is someone out there who cares, about them; about what you are going through. Unconditional care has no bounding distance as it brings together the human soul one to another. You may be in a dark place as I once was, but now I have overflowing joy and peace. For those left behind, I will wait for you, I will think of you, I will worry about you. This blog is for you. I can help by telling you the stories of what I went through with the hurt that has no explanation but is just there, like there is something wrong with everything, and no one seems to notice but you. Come with me on this journey of reflection and insight about the world around us and you and me in it.

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