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Summary of my life

I was born abroad in the country my father had studied. We came to the U.S. when I was only two years old. I have five sisters and four brothers. I'm the third oldest but also the shortest. I actually like being short though. My parents has been married for twenty-seven years, even though right now, divorce seems right around the corner. I have a boyfriend who I've been with for five years; we've been through the WORST of times and also good times too. I literally feel like I can't live without him even though he drives me crazy! (lol) I have anxiety and depression issues. I try to control them to the best of my ability, but sometimes it's just too overwhelming. I'm a Nanny and I absolutely love caring for young children. I'm very independent and outgoing. I tend to be an workaholic but I think that stems from trying to run away from my issues. I love being goofy and making people laugh. I am such a peoples person but only because I despise being alone. You can't look at me and tell I'm depressed or anxious. Majority of the time I am though. My entire high school years I was in a deep depression and cut myself very often. I stopped cutting once I graduated high school in 2009. I've only cut maybe four or five times since then. Lately I've been getting tempted often. I seriously need the help so I don't completely go back.

Fast forward to today; I've been in a bad mood literally all day. This morning, I went to the Breast Cancer Walk with my sisters and brother. We had to wait for my sister's co-workers before we could register. We got to the park at 8:30am and her co-workers didn't arrive until a few minutes after 10am. It was freezing cold and I wasn't dressed warm enough to my liking. Now I have a head cold and I think I'm getting sick. That's very frustrating for me. I felt very exhausted all day. That's very frustrating for me. I bought a battery for my boyfriend's cellphone and it turned out that the phone just didn't work anymore. That frustrated me. I still haven't purchased my own vehicle yet even though I really need one. That's very frustrating for me. The past few days, I've used a bit of my savings that I really shouldn't have used. That's very frustrating for me. My boyfriend is still unemployed and not even trying to get employed. That's very frustrating for me. I live with my parents because I can't afford to take care of my boyfriend, myself, along with rent, and plenty of other bills. That's very frustrating for me. My parents argue daily and my mother constantly threatens to leave my father. That's very frustrating for me. I wish I made more money so that I can afford everything I want/need. That's very frustrating for me. I shouldn't always be frustrated but I am. I need help. That's it for now. I need rest for work in the morning. Good night.

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