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Oh no my god was that just the door

Another threatening letter is lying on the floor

I don't need to open it I know its just the same

As all the other letters, all addressed with my name

I daren't open up the letter to see who it is from

I have no chance to pay it, my money has all gone

My heart is beating faster, much louder than before

I want to write and tell them, that I can't do any more

I am paying out the most that I can afford to give

If I gave them any more, I wouldn't be able to live

I shouldn't blame myself for getting in this mess

I tried to do it propperly, I tried my very best

but one bill became two bills, then very quickly four

I now have started dreading a knocking at the door

I hide away pretending that I'm not in

Till the angry bailiff man is trying to get in

I sob and tell him I'm sorry as he looks around my room

He say's if I don't pay up, he will be back very soon

I gather up my belongings try to sell it on eBay

To try to get some money, for the bills I have to pay. 



Looking in the mirror

I look in the mirror and what do I see

A strangers face looking back at me

Who this person is I do not know

I lost the real me long ago

I no longer have sparkling eyes

I try to smile but it's all lies

I don't feel happy, I don't feel sad

I just feel frightened and very bad

I want the old me back once more

Wish she could walk in through the door

I have to stay strong, not an easy task

I have to try to remove my mask

Reveal again a happier me

To become the person I want to be.

Small steps

Take one day at a time

and you will do just fine

Don't try to do too much

small steps are the right touch

Take each day as new

rest if you're feeling blue

Taking baby steps is the way

just one step every day

Don't worry if it doesn't work out

allow yourself to scream and shout

When you're ready to get up

it's hard work and lots of luck

Be strong and positive

find a new way to live

It's not easy on the way

just small steps day by day

One step turns into two

only one person can do it YOU


Panic attack

Just when I think I'm doing fine

My hearts slow beat, doubles in time

I start to shake, I start to sweat

I still don't know whats happening yet

I'm trembling and I can't keep still

I have to take an extra pill

It's just the thoughts, thats in my mind

Dreadfull thoughts of every kind

My hands are clammy, my breathing fast

I have to hope these feelings pass

I have to take control of it

I'm shaking so much I start to twitch

In what feels like hour's it starts to subside

I have no clue what's gone on inside

My head is aching my mind unclear

Panic attack leaves me with fear

Not knowing when it will happen again

I don't think I can take the strain.


Depression leaves you feeling

like your life's a worthless mess

The good days are all far between

the bad ones take the rest

People ask you if you're better

like there's a magic cure

But if one had been invented

you would of known of it for sure

They nod sympathetically, act as if they understand

" got to go I'm busy busy" they say

and pat you on your hand

"take care and let me know

when you're out and about"

I really wan't to shout and scream

"you know I don't go out"

But I nod and smile politely

say thanks I will do that

but knowing all along

it's home alone, I will be sat.

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