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Monday, July 16th, 2012

New kid on the block....

Categories: toots49

I have been on SSR's for 7 years and finally weened myself off.  Dec.9th 2011 .  The old problems are coming back but I don't want to take the psycho drugs.  They have left me abnormal after taking them.  I developed other problems while on them, I gained 60 lbs, cholestrol and triglycerides through the roof and fatty liver.

I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, depression and anxiety 10 years ago.

I am hoping there is a more natural choice to deal with my problem.

I suffer from depression and anxiety.  I have never been able to eat in public or infront of others.  I feel like I will vomit.  I had problems in school beginning in 7th grade.  I would have dry heaves while walking to school and upon arriving at school.  It was terrifying.  I never told anyone.  I thought it was just normal.  This problem still haunts me today.  I have had to litterally RUN out of restaurants while dining with my husband and friends.  I would hide in shrubs or behind the buildings so no one could see me incase I vomited.  It is not easy.

I was put on valium at 16 for a sensitive stomach!  I rarely ever took them!  I would have bouts of vomiting for 12 hours straight for no reason.  That began when I was very young, 5 or 6 years old.

I have panic attacks out of no where when speaking or standing infront of people.  My ears ring and I feel hot and sweaty, nauseated and dizzy.

I am never satisfied, we are always moving to another house.  Buy, Sell, Move.  Within 3 months I am very unsatisfied and ready to move again.  I get bored and frustrated easily.  I am sad and unhappy.  I worry constantly about everything and the new one is as I am aging (63 now) I am worrying about dying, my life passing me by.  I have 5 children, 13 grandchildren but feel I have not accomplished anything in my life, that I have wasted my life.  I have been married 4 times.  4 years the first 2 each time and 18 years the last 2 each time, I am still married to the 4th one.  I have never been able to hold down a job longer than one year and that happened only once!

I raised 5 kids basically alone, then cared for my mother til she passed away in 98, I flew to Ohio to care for my brother til he passed away 10 years ago.  I have taken women in to care for while caring for my mother and did that for 3 years.  My current husband has been ill quite a bit over the last 10 years and I have nursed him back time and again.  I have been a door mat for my grown children and feel very unappreciated.  Just not happy.

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