I feel like the worse person ever, generally when a significant other gets a new job you would be happy. But why can't I? I have these stupid insecurities and scenerios playing out in my head and its driving me insane.

=( Guess I should start from the beginning...I've been dating this guy for the last 2 years. We've known each other for 10 years. I knew him from high school and he used to date a friend of mine. He's a bartender and does very well for himself. I never worried about what he did until about a year ago when he was working at this one place where his friend was a manager. I came in a lot and generally liked the group of ppl he worked with and the ppl that were his customers. He told me a lot of funny stories. Then one of the other bartenders left on maternity and his friend was forced to hire another bartender. A girl bartender. Didnt think much of it until I started noticing a significant change in his attitude. Before he would complain and tell me stories about ppl who got on his nerves, etc, but he seemed to shut down and turn into a completely different person.

At first I didnt say anything cause I didnt want to seem like a over bearing jealous girlfriend. But then one night when I was hanging out at his bar with a bunch of ppl we knew, i noticed something that ticked me off completely. He was being super "friendly" with this new bartender. Now I understand he has to make his money, etc. And I know being in this business he has to act a certain way, whatever, but in my opinion I draw the line when its someone you work with. Before him I dated a guy who was also a bartender and he ended up hooking up with one of the waitresses that worked with him and he used to tell me all the time it was nothing until I saw them together. I felt like history was repeating itself.

Anyway, i didnt go all psycho on him like I felt like doing. Instead, I approached the topic gently, saying that I was a little uncomfortable at the way he acted around his coworker. To my surprise, he got extremely defensive and even accused me of creating a scenerio that didnt even exist. I was extremely sadden about this. He was defending her. =( I became angry at this and havent been able to let it go. Somehow we managed to work through it and he has since moved on from this place.

But recently, the same friend who managed at that place called him up about a job offer at a different, more upscale place. Of course my guy applied and got the job and now I'm a nervous wreck. i've managed to keep it well hidden but sometimes i find my control slipping especially when he mentions working with his friend again. Now his friend seems to be a nice sort, he grew up with him and he's married with a child. His wife is really sweet. I havent had the pleasure of meeting her and I hope to one of these days. But I have seen the way her husband acts at the bar and with other female customers. It is enough to make all my worries resurface. Am I wrong to feel this way and how to overcome this before I ruin a perfectly good relationship?!! Help!