This is the first time I have ever written a blog. So I will try to make it short and to the point, in hopes that someone out there will give me some direction or that maybe someone else will know they are not alone.

I have had many tragic events occur in my life within the last several years, I have lost both parents and my brother to cancer . I feel very alone, I have no family left and no children of my own. I use to have a large circle of friends but as time went on I pushed many of them away. They had no idea what I was going through, and I kept hearing the words, "life goes on" and "you need to get over it". They have no idea what real loss is, all those around me still have their families intact. I have a real issue in trusting people and because of this I isolate. This does not help with depression, it's like a catch 22. So I spend most of my time alone, and intreverted. There are days I can't even get out of bed, sleep has become my only escape. My doctor wants me to go on meds but I have heard so many horror stories about them and the fact that most have a side affect of suicidal thoughts...Ya, already have those thoughts from time to time, I really don't need that to be emphasize at this point. So I sit alone as I watch life pass me by....my life wasn't always like this....My fear is that it will remain this way......Is there anyone out there who knows this pain?