How did I get here, to the state I'm at now?

How do I move on from here?

how do I survive?

the darkness is stalking me and in alone, no on ego ask for help, no one who will help without wanting something in return.

reallety tells me that asking invites trouble and crtizism and uninvited hostility.

reallety tells me, you're all alone, even in a crowd of people, even with a partner who professes to love you there's no understanding, only critizisim.

where to go from here?

where to go when you're nobody?

where to go when you're nothing?