I cant take it anymore ... smiling to everyone when i am actually dying inside , acting like everything is fine ... i cant do this .... i cant live like this anymore i though i had friends but i was wrong ... i thought SHE  was my FRIEND and i actually thought !! That i meant something to her !! We've been friends since  birth !!! But .... i'm so stupid of course .... i'm nothing to her or them , I'm not like them ... i'm not pretty or smart or have any talent ! ... i just wanted a friend ! Is that too much to ask for ?! Only one person just one ! Who would understand me and see that i'm not ok or care for me at least ....... but i realized something ... no one will care about you if you are not pretty or rich .... Since i'm not both .... i have no one ....

This is my first post ... sorry if its weird or something ... i just had to tell someone how I feel ... i dont know if anyone would see it but ... thats ok ...